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Easy Access to Difficult Conversations
By
Barbara A. Culver, President Resonate, Inc.
 The
characteristics of a difficult conversation include strong emotions, difference
of opinion and high stakes – all of which can contribute to creating stress in
both parties. Did you know that stress is short for distress? From the Latin
that means to draw or pull apart.
My goal is to help you hold difficult conversations and end
up feeling connected with yourself and to the other person/people rather than
pulled apart.
The first pointer is to understand the physiological
responses to stress. Each party in the conversation has a particular style of
modus operandi when he or she is under stress. Why is this?
Because whenever I feel attacked, my physiological response
system cannot discern between someone actually holding a knife to my throat or
simply giving me a dirty look.
Therefore, going into threat mode and preparing for flight or
fight, my body automatically sets up a certain number of responses over which I
have no control. The only thing I can do about this level of response is to be
aware of it and to tell my body to calm down because I am not in imminent
danger.
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Please join us for our monthly web cast case study.
Jason Weaver is 73 years old and has 2 grown children from a
previous marriage; a son who is his business partner and a daughter, who while
having a good relationship with her father, has no connection to the family
business. Jason’s wife Melissa also has children from a prior marriage. With
little to no charitable interest, Jason is only concerned with passing as much
of his accumulated wealth on to his children for them and their families to
enjoy.
Jason’s net worth is $6 million with about $2 million of that in the family
business where he’s a 50/50 partner with his son. Jason has a very modest
lifestyle of $75,000 a year. Jason wants to ensure that his interest in the
family business passes to his son with as little tax as possible while also
providing for an equal and timely inheritance to his daughter. Jason wants to
provide sufficient assets including the use of their home to Melissa should he
predecease her while at the same time minimizing the decrease in inheritance his
own children may receive.
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